How to Actually Help an Alcoholic
So you want to know how to help an alcoholic without enabling them?
Of course we try our best to assist an alcoholic, but most of the time our help will actually hurt them instead because it does not move them any closer to surrender. So how can we know how to avoid enabling? How can we know if we are really helping the alcoholic?
Here are some guidelines that can help us:
1) Do not give them money – This is an easy rule that cuts right to the chase. Alcoholics need money in order to drink, but you should never give them money, even if they need to feed their children. This might sound awful at first but just realize for a moment how mainpulating the alcoholic might be. They may have spent their cash on liquor already with the idea that someone would cover them later if they needed to feed their children. If you give them money in this case then you are not feeding children, you are buying booze. Don’t be deceived by this.
2) Suggest treatment but do not threaten or force them – if you try to force the issue this will only create resentment and more drinking. Most alcoholics who are manipulated into a treatment facility do not end up staying sober in the long run. The alcoholic must want to change on their own so your best course of action in some cases is to make the offer that help is available to them.
3) Consider a formal intervention – think long and hard before doing a formal intervention because there is a chance that it can backfire and strain the relationship even further. That is why this is really a last ditch effort, because sometimes the intervention can make things worse instead of better. On the contrary, going forward with the intervention might be that final push that is necessary to motivate the person to make a lasting change. The more common scenario is that an intervention is a single step on their journey….it might not produce immediate sobriety, but it could be a piece of the puzzle for some people.
